Monthly Archives: June 2012

One more sleep and we’re off…

Or more realistically, one more night of lying awake and worrying..and then we’re off 🙂

Whilst I am on the one hand looking forward to aspects of this trip I am also quite frankly terrified. I’ve never been a keen flier by any stretch of the imagination, so a long haul flight like this is rather daunting to me. Add to that the fact that I am leaving my kids behind to galavant halfway across the world…well yes, I am rather a mess. But muddling through though, because what else can you do?!

As much as I wish the kids could accompany us on this trip there is just no way that it would work out. We have a pretty tight schedule packed with appointments and viewings and questions to ask, they’d have been miserable tagging along and being told to sit down and behave all the time – but yoh I am going to miss them dreadfully. How will I ever go 10 whole days without all the squishy hugs and wet kisses I have been accustomed to receiving every day???

We had a really super day yesterday, we went out to a late breakfast at Spur, we shopped till we dropped, came home for some down time, saw my dad, shopped some more, had dinner at Mimmo’s, played a game of adventure golf and rounded off the evening with Cinnabons! The kids were so cheerful and happy and it really was just such a nice bonding day…something I can cling on to while I am a million miles away!

As for the kids they have 5 days with my mum and nephew, and then another 5 days with Leon’s mum and step-dad, so they are going to be well taken care of and I have no doubt they will have a blast! Hopefully we’ll have a bunch of Skype sessions too so that at least we can have virtual hugs and kisses if nothing else.

Of course one of the biggest stresses is that we will in all probability be coming back with a huge decision. So scary.

Crazy?!

No, not really. But maybe needing a little bit of TLC 🙂

I had another “episode”, this time just 2.5 weeks after the last! And figured I needed to get fixed. So off I trotted to new GP, a female this time. She was lovely, really lovely and is intent on helping me get to the bottom of things.

The first thing she did was to put me on reflux meds for 10 days, just to make sure that the chest pain isn’t actually a symptom of heartburn etc, but alas there was no change. I then went back to her and we had a long chat and she really feels that I do need to look into the panic disorder theory more closely. I have been fighting this diagnosis as it somehow made me feel as though the doctors were telling me that “it’s all in my head”, but have woken up and realised that these kinds of disorders to cause very real physical symptoms. I DO know that I am prone to facial flushing, chest pain, trembling etc when I get anxious, so I guess it all ties in.

My (step)MIL is a doctor and she was explaining to me that
1) panic disorders are basically a learnt response. So after a very stressful event you could a panic attack, but thereafter any little triggers could trigger the same response.

2)When you are on thyroid hormones there are times when your body dumps a bunch of thyroxine into your blood stream, which can cause some really awful symptoms.

I am assuming that maybe, just maybe, my very first episode was something like point #2 above, and that that set off a panic attack which then set off all my subsequent attacks?!

It’s food for thought at the very least and I really do hope that I am finally getting closer to the solution.

I have booked an appointment with a psychologist on Tuesday afternoon and will see what she says, hopefully she can teach me come coping mechanisms to get to the bottom of this and hopefully I’ll finally feel normal again.

In unrelated news it is just over a week until hubby and I fly to the Isle of Man, eeeeek!! We have some huge decisions to make over there while I am excited about the trip I am also terrified of what is to follow. One step at a time I guess…