So it’s been (3 days shy of) one month. One month since I left behind the only life I’ve ever known, all my family (apart, of course, from my very special hubby and 2 wonderful kiddies), my job, my friends…etc etc. The list is endless. It has been one month(ish). And I have survived it.
Not only survived it – but I have been enjoying it…I have laughed, I have smiled, I have been happy. Of course there are also those times when the sadness just creeps up on you – when you feel empty inside because the distance between you and your family feels so huge to be completely insurmountable. But then I shake myself up, and remind myself that I am luckier than most. I will for the foreseeable future be able to go home 1x every year to see everybody. I know that for now I just have to focus on counting down until November and then I will be able to have a good catch-up with everyone again. It’s hard. Some days it seems doable, easy even…but other days it just seems like January will never end and if we’re only in January – well than November is still a crazy long wait away. But I’m surviving. And I’m laughing. And I’m happy.
Truth be told I like what I’ve seen from my new life. I know that might not be what family and friends want to hear but I do like it. I am happy. I love the children’s new school, I love that I see my husband more now because he saves about 3 hours a day on travelling times. I love the people that I have met. I love that I live in a place where it can snow! I love the cool crisp air and being able to dress up in nice clothes without feeling that I am going to pass out from the heat. I love experiencing a new place, a new culture, new shops…everything is different and new and for now I am truly loving it.
BUT. I must mention two very important caveats. I do realize that I am still firmly entrenched in the honeymoon period. 1 month in and we’ve been rushed off our feet doing the fun stuff – exploring, discovering, experiencing, shopping. I realize that there will come a time where I think “to hell with this I MISS the comforts of home. The things I know. The PEOPLE I know”. I realise that this is coming and that’s okay …. but for now I want to enjoy my honeymoon period. I want to just be happy and enjoy what I can.
And then of course my precious and wonderful family. How I miss them! Last night I had my first Isle of Man dream, in which I was in my new home, dreaming of the new people we have met and valid situations. It was nice for a change to wake up without that immediate sickening pang of remembrance that I am very, very far away from home indeed.
I think it can partially be attributed to the pregnancy but I have been having the most vivid dreams. And every night (apart from last night) I have dreamt that I was ‘at home’…in South Africa. Often doing the most mundane things like shopping with my mother or watching a movie with my sister… in my sleep I manage to find a way to get comfort and closeness from my family…every night I found myself seeking the comforts of my home, and every morning I would wake up with the sick realization that that is not my home anymore.
I miss my family. Insanely. Hugely. More than words could ever say. But I am okay.
On the pregnancy front all seems fine, no issues or problems. 10 weeks now and hopefully will get a scan at 12 weeks. Fingers crossed!