One month in (well, almost) and I’m okay!

So it’s been (3 days shy of) one month.  One month since I left behind the only life I’ve ever known, all my family (apart, of course, from my very special hubby and 2 wonderful kiddies), my job, my friends…etc etc.  The list is endless.  It has been one month(ish).  And I have survived it.

Not only survived it – but I have been enjoying it…I have laughed, I have smiled, I have been happy.  Of course there are also those times when the sadness just creeps up on you – when you feel empty inside because the distance between you and your family feels so huge to be completely insurmountable.  But then I shake myself up, and remind myself that I am luckier than most.  I will for the foreseeable future be able to go home 1x every year to see everybody.  I know that for now I just have to focus on counting down until November and then I will be able to have a good catch-up with everyone again.  It’s hard.  Some days it seems doable, easy even…but other days it just seems like January will never end and if we’re only in January – well than November is still a crazy long wait away.  But I’m surviving.  And I’m laughing.  And I’m happy.

Truth be told I like what I’ve seen from my new life.  I know that might not be what family and friends want to hear but I do like it.  I am happy. I love the children’s new school, I love that I see my husband more now because he saves about 3 hours a day on travelling times.  I love the people that I have met.  I love that I live in a place where it can snow!  I love the cool crisp air and being able to dress up in nice clothes without feeling that I am going to pass out from the heat.  I love experiencing a new place, a new culture, new shops…everything is different and new and for now I am truly loving it.

BUT. I must mention two very important caveats.  I do realize that I am still firmly entrenched in the honeymoon period.  1 month in and we’ve been rushed off our feet doing the fun stuff – exploring, discovering, experiencing, shopping.  I realize that there will come a time where I think “to hell with this I MISS the comforts of home.  The things I know.  The PEOPLE I know”.  I realise that this is coming and that’s okay …. but for now I want to enjoy my honeymoon period.  I want to just be happy and enjoy what I can.

And then of course my precious and wonderful family.  How I miss them!  Last night I had my first Isle of Man dream, in which I was in my new home, dreaming of the new people we have met and valid situations.  It was nice for a change to wake up without that immediate sickening pang of remembrance that I am very, very far away from home indeed.

I think it can partially be attributed to the pregnancy but I have been having the most vivid dreams.  And every night (apart from last night) I have dreamt that I was ‘at home’…in South Africa.  Often doing the most mundane things like shopping with my mother or watching a movie with my sister… in my sleep I manage to find a way to get comfort and closeness from my family…every night I found myself seeking the comforts of my home, and every morning I would wake up with the sick realization that that is not my home anymore.

I miss my family.  Insanely.  Hugely.  More than words could ever say.  But I am okay.

On the pregnancy front all seems fine, no issues or problems.  10 weeks now and hopefully will get a scan at 12 weeks.  Fingers crossed!


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